Things Growing Below the Surface
So I run, hide and tear myself up
Start again with a brand new name
And eyes that see into infinity
Capricorn (A Brand New Name) – 30 Seconds to Mars
Putting out feelers, trying to keep in touch with him, I requested a song; a song to “Hail [his] triumphant return” (if and when it should occur). “A Brand new Name” is the answer I received.
I think I’ve figured it out; the pattern.
It started when I realised that my internal landscape – “InWorld”, as I usually refer to it – has shifted. Shifted to the point where I can’t “go” there right now. When I try, it is as if I’m seeing it through a mist; I can’t focus and it literally shifts and slides and dissolves. It’s like trying to visit a memory, rather than a real place – which is an interesting comparison to be able to experience.
It’s a strange time of year too. It isn’t the heart of winter, nor is it the end; it just is. It is a time of waiting. Many in the pagan-o-sphere are dealing with their own fallow time at the moment. It is the season.
A time when the surface appears barren, but underground, things are stirring; germinating; waiting to bloom.
Going through the archives here, cleaning things up a bit, I came across posts from this time last year that reflect the same “all quiet” on the daimon front: The disappearance of January 2012 and the deciphering of the Devil.
… And then he returns.
I realise: the Earth cards I’ve been getting have a strong bias towards union and fertility. Even the non-Earth cards have a strong bias towards union and fertility. Fertility of the “sacred” variety.
Between the Goddess Oracle and the Book of Shadows, a pattern began to emerge and I started piecing together a puzzle within a framework I never expected to consider as part of my personal schema.
A framework that has decidedly Wiccan overtones – and we all know _I Am Not Wiccan_.
But here I am, Googling phrases like “Oak King” and “Sun God” and stumbling on Dionysian blogs and finding that the pieces fit. Not saying at all that he is these things, but his schedule and… “presentation” seem to follow these rythmns. I’m still figuring it out.
Presumably, he “dies” sometime around the winter solstice, meaning he is currently in rebirth or “babyhood”. Last year he returned in February; he’s not back yet, but I (think) I can sense subtle changes in myself that (I think) preface his return. In May-June last year I experienced the intensity that I took to be god-energy – because it was so much more than anything I’d felt before – but would fit with him being at “young adult” stage (high energy, very libidinous). Then there’s another death, at which point the Holly King takes over (from the Oak). He is a more serious sort – the all-black, infuriatingly quiet, moody teenager that followed the summer mix-up. He matures into the mind-blowing Power, before it all happens again.
Oh! And there’s that thing that happened last year May – when the King marries the Queen – that definitely qualifies as fitting the mythic pattern of this all.
It’s not perfect and I put that down to him not being this, but there are two key points that caught my attention:
 The Oak King can be represented by Jupiter, and the Holly by Saturn/Kronos. Jupiter ie. Oak King was the card I received for “what is to come“; I pulled Saturn in an (even) earlier reading re: the block and what is causing it.
Last year I coaxed him up out of the darkness with a sigil, so I repeated that action, then tempted fate with the Maat: “When will he return?”
“… First Lunar Cycle of Winter, December 21-January 19… The Winter Solstice is when Mother Earth gives birth to the Sun child.“
He is already here.