Things Growing Below the Surface
So I run, hide and tear myself up
Start again with a brand new name
And eyes that see into infinityCapricorn (A Brand New Name) – 30 Seconds to Mars
Putting out feelers, trying to keep in touch with him, I requested a song; a song to “Hail [his] triumphant return” (if and when it should occur). “A Brand new Name” is the answer I received.
I think I’ve figured it out; the pattern.
It started when I realised that my internal landscape – “InWorld”, as I usually refer to it – has shifted. Shifted to the point where I can’t “go” there right now. When I try, it is as if I’m seeing it through a mist; I can’t focus and it literally shifts and slides and dissolves. It’s like trying to visit a memory, rather than a real place – which is an interesting comparison to be able to experience.
It’s a strange time of year too. It isn’t the heart of winter, nor is it the end; it just is. It is a time of waiting. Many in the pagan-o-sphere are dealing with their own fallow time at the moment. It is the season.
The Hanged One – Maat Tarot by Julie Cuccia-Watts; New Moon Trading, 2006
A time when the surface appears barren, but underground, things are stirring; germinating; waiting to bloom.
4 of Wands – Maat Tarot by Julie Cuccia-Watts; New Moon Trading, 2006
Going through the archives here, cleaning things up a bit, I came across posts from this time last year that reflect the same “all quiet” on the daimon front: The disappearance of January 2012 and the deciphering of the Devil.
The Devil – Maat Tarot by Julie Cuccia-Watts; New Moon Trading, 2006
… And then he returns.
King of Swords – Maat Tarot; Julie Cuccia-Watts; New Moon Trading, 2006
I realise: the Earth cards I’ve been getting have a strong bias towards union and fertility. Even the non-Earth cards have a strong bias towards union and fertility. Fertility of the “sacred” variety.
King of Cups – Maat Tarot by Julie Cuccia-Watts; New Moon Trading, 2006
Between the Goddess Oracle and the Book of Shadows, a pattern began to emerge and I started piecing together a puzzle within a framework I never expected to consider as part of my personal schema.
The Emperor – Maat Tarot by Julie Cuccia-Watts; New Moon Trading, 2006
A framework that has decidedly Wiccan overtones – and we all know _I Am Not Wiccan_.
But here I am, Googling phrases like “Oak King” and “Sun God” and stumbling on Dionysian blogs and finding that the pieces fit. Not saying at all that he is these things, but his schedule and… “presentation” seem to follow these rythmns. I’m still figuring it out.
Presumably, he “dies” sometime around the winter solstice, meaning he is currently in rebirth or “babyhood”. Last year he returned in February; he’s not back yet, but I (think) I can sense subtle changes in myself that (I think) preface his return. In May-June last year I experienced the intensity that I took to be god-energy – because it was so much more than anything I’d felt before – but would fit with him being at “young adult” stage (high energy, very libidinous). Then there’s another death, at which point the Holly King takes over (from the Oak). He is a more serious sort – the all-black, infuriatingly quiet, moody teenager that followed the summer mix-up. He matures into the mind-blowing Power, before it all happens again.
Oh! And there’s that thing that happened last year May – when the King marries the Queen – that definitely qualifies as fitting the mythic pattern of this all.
It’s not perfect and I put that down to him not being this, but there are two key points that caught my attention:
[1] The Holly and the Oak are two sides of the Sun God, which immediately made me think of the earring dream and subsequent appearances of the Sun card in significant positions.
[2] The Oak King can be represented by Jupiter, and the Holly by Saturn/Kronos. Jupiter ie. Oak King was the card I received for “what is to come“; I pulled Saturn in an (even) earlier reading re: the block and what is causing it.
Last year I coaxed him up out of the darkness with a sigil, so I repeated that action, then tempted fate with the Maat: “When will he return?”
The Magician – Maat Tarot by Julie Cuccia-Watts; New Moon Trading, 2006
“… First Lunar Cycle of Winter, December 21-January 19… The Winter Solstice is when Mother Earth gives birth to the Sun child.“
He is already here.
I don’t understand her Devil card, looks like a woman giving birth. Also, does Mr.-Mr. pull this disappearing act same time every year? Maybe he went to Disney World
It is – the Devil in the Maat represents the Winter Solstice ie. when the -prevailing- god is reborn. The artist based it off of Medieval representations of the devil, where the devil has a face where [his] genitalia should be. She expanded this to represent live birth being frightening to men, as it is part of the “female mysteries”. The physical nature of birth – with all its mess and pain – goes directly against the male creation myths where a god neatly sculpts mankind out of dust or clay.
When working with the Maat, you have to use the imagery and the attached mythologies that the artist has associated with each card, rather than the standard tarot script. It can be a very personally meaningful deck if you work with it regularly.
And yes, he _does_ pull this at the same time, at least so far
If he’s at Disney World, he’d better bring me some sweet “Nightmare Before Christmas” merch back!
I am so happy that you’ve figured things out! The Maat tarot seems awfully appropriate here (which is obviously why you’ve chosen it).
These are the cards I get most frequently; the 4 of Wands especially most recently. It only took me a year to catch on