Phase(r)s Set to Block
For this month’s New Moon reading (Feb 10th) I did something a bit different: rather than doing a predictive reading for each of the the weeks/phases of the moon over the upcoming month, I turned the concept into a kind of relationship reading. Sir Pantsalot has been… away, and remains away.
If I try to communicate with him via the cards, the readings are garbage; truly random cards with no discernible meaning. Considering how well I’m able to read in other areas again (oh, so my Sight is back?) I know this isn’t just me. Even the shuffle function lacks a certain je ne sais Pants – the song selection is far more random, with 98% less Depeche Mode.
At first I was thinking of it in terms of a block between us, but came to realise that it is an absence. It’s not that I can sense him on the edges but just can tap it; he is simply not there. Whether this is him or me or a combination, I don’t know, and I am staying remarkably calm about it. I miss him and it’s definitely empty in-world without him, but I’m not feeling abandoned.
What say you, Book of Shadows?
 Significator (Myself) - II Wisdom
Shall I laugh now, or later, or now until later? I did this reading right on the heels of finishing interpreting the Share Your Passion spread, which had II Wisdom as the central card. The card shows a lunar eclipse ie. a dark moon and I assume the priestess is “drawing down the moon” – evidently the BoS is feeling sassy tonight.
 Significator (MR) - 10 of Air (Tarot)
:/ What is this, even?
The recursive nature of this card gives me a strong feeling that the tarot card being held up is a mirror, saying there is no him right now; it is just me and the cards.
 Current New Moon: Hidden darkness between us - 9 of Air (Runes)
This I understand: personal sacrifice in exchange for knowledge(/wisdom). I am also reminded of the Hanged Man, a card that has been gently stalking me. So, this is a time of waiting – still – in the dark, not knowing when exactly it will end but with a potential pay-off that is worth 9x the sacrifice. I only wonder if his absence is a temporary sacrifice or if there’s soemthing more to it. Pretty much out of my control at this point, I think.
 First Quarter: What is waxing between us - 6 of Water (Sarasvati)
Sarasvati is the goddess of knowledge/wisdom/learning (SPOT A THEME MUCH) and the cultural arts. The literal meaning of her name is “She who has flow”, which reminds me of the ability to make connections intuitively. The inverted lotus She is seated on symbolizes that She is founded in the experience of the Absolute Truth, having knowledge of the Highest Reality. As such, the knowledge She bestows is not merely academic, but also essential knowledge of Self.
I take this to mean that the Truth and Reality of whatever-this-is is gaining strength.
 Full Moon: What has come to fullness between us - 8 of Fire (Neptune)
This first thing I notice in this card is the stormy quality of the water surrounding Neptune. Neptune rules Pisces, a sign governing all sorts of illusion, delusion, deception and general all-round confusion and fogginess (those unsettled waters stir up a lot of silt). With Neptune in my 11th House, I am especially vulnerable to imagination > action. Neptune is a planet of sacrifice (9 of Air) and unmaking oneself to find one’s Self (6 of Water).
The previous card lends this one weight, telling me that whatever illusions or delusions exist/ed between us, they have reached an apex and will begin to gain clarity from here on in.
 Last Quarter: What is waning between us - 2 of Air (Pendulum)
A pendulum is good for divining simple, definite answers, but it is inherently limited in the answers it can give. The back-and-forth movement of a pendulum is vulnerable to outside influence, whether from the diviner or spirits/Deity/etc so it can be unreliable.
The most hopeful prospect for this card is that communication between us is becoming more stable and “whole” (not as limited) and less vulnerable to extremes (all-or-nothingness), possibly even outside influence.
 Next New Moon: The new phase we are moving towards - 5 of Fire (Jupiter)
Jupiter – the largest planet in our solar system – is above all a symbol of expansion, on all levels. It points to where we look for wisdom and understanding. With Jupiter in Taurus at the end of the 4th House, this makes me a particularly sensuality and experience-driven little seeker.
With any luck (HI-YO Jupiterrrrrr!) this means I am headed towards a more expanded ie. fleshed-out (no pun), sensory experience of the MR.
[Quint] 6 Beltane – Actually, 42 ie. the Meaning of Life, the Universe and Everything *snerk*
Before I shuffled the cards back into the deck, I noticed that there was a “split” near the centre of the deck. Out of curiosity, I cut the deck at this point and got the 2 of Water. Now, most of the cards in the BoS have been remodelled, but this one retains its meaning (and shows Eros and Psyche, just for good measure). Together with the Beltane card, it gives me a little more hope that his absence isn’t a permanent hiatus.
A couple of weeks before doing the reading above, and a couple of weeks after his prolonged silence, I did a reading on what I thought was still a “block” rather than a complete absence of him. I’m including that reading for comparison to the one above.
 This is me - 0 The Summerlands
This is both the Fool – my other stalker – and an accurate descipription of where I find myself: a kind of limbo; psychic “waiting room”. In the Summerlands, the Spirit is given the chance to develop and grow. I also get the distinct feeling of “separation” from this card, but not necessarily in a bad way. It’s a time to be alone, regroup, free from outside influence or obligation. Carefree.
I’d hardly call his presence a burden, but he has been my core focus for more than a year now and perhaps I need this time for reasons I’m not yet aware of.
 This is he - Maiden of Earth
There is a definite similarity here to the Summerlands card. What’s also unusual is that this is the first time our genders have been reversed in a reading; usually the people cards are very clear on the distinction, to the point where “us” cards will depict a man and woman, or combination thereof (The Star in the Maat is hermaphroditic). Also, he is of spirit, depicted here as Earth and I am of earth, depicted as Spirit.
I guess he’s on vacation too!
 This is the block - 1 The Elements
Awesome. EVERYTHING. Sounds about right.
 Who (or what) caused it - 7 of Fire (Uranus)
Uranus (Ouranos) is one of the original Angry Sky Gods™, except he is the Sky personified, not merely a representative thereof. Every day he mates with Gaia (Mother Earth) resulting in children (Titanes) whom he imprisons in Tartarus. Until Gaia gets sick of his shit and convinces Kronos to castrate dear old dad. Familial relations didn’t exactly improve from there on in.
Astrologically, Uranus is the planet of sudden, unexpected change (DUH) and governs intuition and genius (or Genius?) It represents the spirit and free Will of an individual. With Uranus (exalted) in Scorpio in the 10th House, it is no wonder that expressing my individuality defines me. (Too bad it is square to my Ascendant – Capricorn – ruled by Saturn ie. Kronos. Oops! Sorry about your sac, Dad.)
I’m not entirely sure what this card is saying, but I think it might be an extension of the Summerlands – a time of defining who I am and where I _fit_.
 Underlying cause (Why) - 9 of Water (Lakshmi)
Now this is interesting: in some examinations of etymology, Ouranos is equated with the Vedic Varuna, father to Lakshmi. Lakshmi and Aphrodite (daughter of Ouranos) have similar origins and are both associated with the planet Venus. Lakshmi is a goddess of wealth, prosperity (in all areas), fortune and beauty – how is this a why?
Though I don’t understand the card, I am struck by its symmetrical nature and the sense of… peaceful internalization I get from it.
At this point I noticed something: the centre card shows the Elements; the 4 cards around it represent all four of the elements (Summerlands = Air). The elements are neatly arranged across from their opposites: Air – Earth, Fire – Water. The kicker is, with only a slight clockwise rotation, the elements in the central Elements card align with the outside card elements.
 How to overcome it - Elemental of Earth (“Page”)
Ah, Earth. Ground. The gnome in this card doesn’t seem to have a care in the world – he’s kicking back, playing his pan flute while soaking up some rays and generally not giving a flying fornication about anything at all. Gnomes understand that things of Earth follow their own unhurried schedule; flowers bloom when the time is right; crystals form over ages. There is nothing Man can do to speed it up, and these natural processes will continue long after we are gone and forgotten.
This card tells me that there is nothing I can do to hurry this along – it has to run its natural course – and certainly worrying about it isn’t going to help any. The best use I can make of this time is to rest, centre and do some real “earth work” (funnily enough, my digestive system has been gently decimated the last little while and it seems like my diet is changing again.)
Just keep on keeping on, then.